Scientists Successfully Transfer Longevity Gene from Naked Mole Rats to Mice, Bringing Us One Step Closer to Becoming Vampires
In a stunning breakthrough, researchers at the University of Rochester have successfully transferred a gene that makes naked mole rats live longer and resist diseases to mice, resulting in improved…
Have You Heard The Good News? Botox Balls!
Have you ever felt unhappy with your junk? Do you wish those sags were smoother, firmer, and more youthful-looking? If so...
Climate Change Rebranded as Missouri Weather to Appeal to Skeptics
In a desperate attempt to convince more Americans to take action against the looming environmental crisis, the Biden administration has announced a new strategy: renaming climate change as Missouri weather.…
Fearful Five of Doctors
We all know that doctors are supposed to be the ones who heal us, save us, and make us feel better. But not all doctors are created equal, and some…
The Ancient Tablet That Reveals the Surprising Origin of Cheese
Researchers from the University of Babylon have made a startling discovery that could rewrite the history of cheese. According to their findings, cheese was not accidentally invented by humans around…
California Man Celebrating Independence Day by Creating a Black Hole and Going to Mars
Jake Smith, a self-proclaimed mad scientist and former physics professor, has been buying up all the fireworks he can find on the west coast in an attempt to create a…
Backyard Hillbilly Scientist Captures Ghost Particles from Space to Brew Moonshine
Jarnathan Debo, a self-proclaimed scientist and moonshiner from Warsaw, has made a startling discovery that could revolutionize the field of physics and the art of distilling. He claims that he…
Aliens visit Earth to solve the mystery of its flatness
A group of extraterrestrial researchers have landed on Earth to investigate why it is the only known planet in the universe that is flat and not spherical. The aliens, who…
Man Achieves Ultimate Laziness with Neuralink TV Browsing System
In a stunning display of technological convenience, Ted Dronington has embraced the Neuralink TV browsing system, taking laziness to new heights. By connecting his mind directly to the TV, Ted…
Oops! Engineer forgets ethics module, unleashes Skynet
What could possibly go wrong? That’s what a software engineer working for a defense contractor thought when he skipped the ethics module in the attack drones he was coding. Turns…