In a shocking revelation, anonymous sources from the secretive Area 51 base have confirmed that they are planning to host a furry convention next month. The event, dubbed “Fursona 51”, is said to be an attempt to lure in and capture some of the elusive mystery aliens that are rumored to inhabit the nearby desert.
According to one of the sources, who spoke on condition of anonymity, the base has been struggling to find new specimens for their experiments ever since the failed raid in 2019. “We’ve been running out of ideas and resources. We’ve tried everything from crop circles to cattle mutilations, but nothing seems to work. We figured, why not try something different and appeal to their furry side?”
The source explained that the base has been secretly collecting and studying furry costumes, art, and culture for the past year, and has hired some of the most prominent furry artists and performers to create a convincing and attractive convention. “We’ve spared no expense. We’ve got the best fursuits, the best DJs, the best panels, the best vendors. We’re hoping that this will be enough to entice some of the more curious and adventurous aliens to come out of hiding and join us.”
The source added that the base has also prepared a series of traps and containment facilities to capture and secure any aliens that show up. “We’re not taking any chances. We’ve got nets, tranquilizers, cages, scanners, probes, you name it. We’re ready for anything. Well, almost anything. We’re still not sure how to deal with a sasquatch. Those things are huge and hairy. They might blend in too well with the furries.”
The source admitted that the plan is risky and controversial, but insisted that it is necessary for the advancement of science and national security. “We know that some people might find this unethical or offensive, but we’re doing this for the greater good. We need to know more about these aliens, their origins, their abilities, their intentions. Who knows what secrets they hold? Who knows what threats they pose? We can’t afford to miss this opportunity.”
The source also urged any potential attendees to be careful and vigilant. “If you’re a furry and you’re thinking about going to Fursona 51, please be aware that this is not a normal convention. This is a trap. You might end up being experimented on or worse. Don’t let your fursona cloud your judgment. Stay away from Area 51. It’s not worth it.”