Opinion: You are old and only getting older
You may think you are young and hip, but the truth is you are old and only getting older. You may not notice it yet, but every day you are…
Democrats and Republicans turn to ChatGPT for populist ideas
In a desperate attempt to win over the voters in the upcoming midterm elections, both Democrats and Republicans have resorted to using ChatGPT, a popular online chatbot that can generate…
You Won’t Believe What They Did with Wine in the Middle Ages
If you think that medieval torture devices were all about spikes, fire, and blades, think again. There was one device that was so simple and yet so cruel that it…
Dino-Mite: The Explosive Revelation of a Crocodile’s Virgin Birth
In a shocking turn of events, scientists have discovered that a female crocodile living alone in a zoo in Sicily has given birth to a clutch of eggs that contained…
Nation Holds Its Breath: Do UFO Aliens Lean Left or Right?
In a bizarre twist of priorities, the recent UFO whistleblower revelation has ignited a nationwide obsession with the extraterrestrial beings’ political affiliations. As the existence of advanced technology and intergalactic…
Japanese Curse Infects Springfield
Springfield, MO - A mysterious outbreak of a rare and deadly disease has been traced to a Japanese curse that was allegedly performed by a disgruntled employee of a local…
Vampire Hunters Gear Up for World Blood Donor Day
World Blood Donor Day is an annual event that aims to raise awareness of the need for safe blood and blood products, and to thank voluntary, unpaid blood donors for…
NYPD on the Hunt for Suspected Werewolf
New York City faces a series of bizarre attacks. Five bars are in shambles and several patrons are injured. The culprit? A suspected werewolf that witnesses describe as a “large…
Man Achieves Ultimate Laziness with Neuralink TV Browsing System
In a stunning display of technological convenience, Ted Dronington has embraced the Neuralink TV browsing system, taking laziness to new heights. By connecting his mind directly to the TV, Ted…
Florida Man Searches for Alien Abductor to Propose: True Love or Close Encounter of the Absurd Kind?
In a heartwarming yet baffling turn of events, a Florida man has embarked on a mission of extraterrestrial proportions. Armed with a bouquet of roses and an engagement ring, our…